In relationships, it is expected to either be short lived or be enduring. Relationships are either hot or cold, thus hot relationships are usually characterized by strong affections, intimacy and with all seriousness,  whereas cold ones are a bit friendly, formal and casual. But in either ways, there is a kind of fondness(attachment) to one another, reciprocity and having a positive attitude towards each other.

One may enter into a relationship with someone because

 a) the person telling you how good you look

b) the person likes/loves you c) being beautiful and honest and

d) an extraordinary feature about the person.


Now who are you likely to have this relationship with?

Three theories define the inter-personal relationship

The balanced theory says that people will be attracted to each other when they all share the same views, have the same beliefs and or proximity. (No wonder SDAs believe in marrying each other). No wonder you always chase that girl in your church, area or class… That is why de notion of distance relationship being bad and demands a lot still holds.The reward model of Attraction demystify the fact that people who are associated with rewards are liked and loved…rewards here can mean fame, high status, celebrity, good reputation etc… No wonder people wants to go out with celebrities, people who are rich, people with fame of all sorts(it will surprise you a lady will be madly in a notorious arm robber just because he is famous to be a hardened criminal and/or rich.The equity theory proposes that relationship is satisfied when the ratios are equal, that is, satisfaction in a relationship is a function of the ratio of rewards to cost that each member experiences… If i satisfy you in one way or the other, you have to see to the sustainability of the relationship. Once i am making sure you are okay, you need to do anything to sustain the relationship. Hehehe… No wonder a poor guy who is good in bed will b liked by rich girls and sugar mummies and vice versa…

Which theory fits your relationship..? Are you planning to enter into a relationship outside these theories?

The Social Engineer


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